Please note that the butt hole burning properties of hot sauce are, in my experience at least, a complete myth, but it makes for a catchy title. The same, however, cannot be said about stomachs, more than once, including with this batch, I’ve had the unpleasant burning coals in my belly sensation. That being said I keep on going back for more. Not the sharpest tool in the shed, eh?

There’s a fair amount of enthusiasm and interest in hot sauce among the D&C crew, and not infrequently various brews are shared and tasted, or even cooked up while having cocktails together. It was thus extremely natural to look at the small stash of hot peppers on my kitchen table and decide to turn them into peppery flaming goodness. They were mostly habaneros, but there were a few other varieties as well, including some from our garden. The harvest really sucked this year because of the fucking squirrels (shakes fist at the horde of squirrels in the yard, squirrels are not impressed). Drastic measures will have to be taken next year, maybe something in a .22 calibre. I jest of course, but still, steps will have to be taken.

Fun fact, hot peppers are (reasonably) good for you, believe it or not they can be used to speed up your metabolism, thus assisting in weight loss,  they can help fight depression, and they can even give you a decent buzz. That last one takes a bit of dedication to achieve though, because you need to punch through your pain barrier, but it is a pleasant feeling once you get there. Just warn people you’re with about your potentially dilated pupils and jumping around before hand; that way they won’t think you’re possessed.

Hot peppers can also be dangerous. Just a bit of residue from an improperly handled sliced  habanero can make you walk around with a cocktail on your face, like a doofus, as you ice your nostrils after barely brushing them with your fingers. This of course proves that cocktails are super useful in the kitchen. Screw the extinguisher.

Also don’t even think of going to the washroom. The stories of people handling their privates and thinking they’ve suddenly developed the blitzkrieg of std’s are very very very real.

I did not have a recipe in mind so I just threw the peppers  together with some white-wine vinegar, which I did not have enough of so I completed with red, barely covered to peppers and set to simmer. I kept the seeds because apparently I am insane. Some salt and a clove of garlic for good measure and I brought it up to a lazy boil. I simmered until the peppers were mushy and voilà.

If you do this, your house will smell like a riot police pepper spray testing range, so it’s best to be in a well ventilated area. Afterwards all that was needed was to let it cool down a bit, avoid skin contact and chuck all this fiery goodness into a blender.

Was it good? Was it revolutionary? No and no. Waaaaaay too hot and too vinegary.  It works well mixed with mayo or plain yogurt, but I have a long way to go before I give Tabasco a run for their money.

It made for a little over one bottle of sauce. I’ll try cutting it with water to see if that can improve it, once my stomach lining is back to normal.

Or maybe I should stick with cocktails?

See you soon.